one pound at a time...

here i go... starting off the day.. not much sleep but i have my bottle of water next to me and my mantra in my head...

one pound at a time....

here we go...i'm on a non-stoppable roll....

maybe i just might go sign up for fitness connection...

the possibilities are endles...

back on the wagon...

maybe, it will take longer than i expected but i am trying to do my best.

one pound at a time...that's my mantra. one pound at a time...
i have to totally blog about this and let my feelings out and be who i am, live for myself and do for myself....

walking was great. i didnt' walk a long distance but i'm starting off small... i'm going to reward myself... i'm going to set small goals and once i accomplish them, then i'm getting a reward....

i need rest!! i need to drink lots of water!! i need to do this for myself!! positive thoughts... positive thoughts.... i can do this, i can do anything i set my mind to... i have th power to change my life around. i have the will to do it. i am a fighter, i am a lover, and i will love to fight 'til i reach my goal...i will do this for me. to look better, to feel better, to love myself more and more each day.

i will try and cook everyday... make my meals... healthier... less grease, more veggies, more fruits, less carbs, less bread, less sweets, more protein... more for me!!

i can do this!!!

wooo hooo, i'm on a roll.... because in the end it's all for me...

ok so i must walk at least 3 times this week... if not everyday...my reward... nails did...
can't wait to accomplish this...cant wait!!

In Lala Land...

ok so maybe i should try and do this more frequently... idk why i havent posted anything...

laziness.. .there you go! that's the word.

anywho... looks like the house might actually be done pretty soon... oh so nervous!
mariah's is almost 3... ohh goody!

as for me... have i had any accomplishments... oh i think not. if anything i've sort of fallen off the wagon. but i keep trying! water, water, water. i ate grapes as a snack. i'm still cutting down on coke. i think the most i drink is like a can a day.. or even less.

oprah's best life week inspired me... recorded and then viewed it on saturday... i took like 4 pages of notes... what to eat and what not to do... exercise and checkups and oh soo much. BUUUT the thing is that i need to do it. it's not a matter of me writing it, it's a matter of me doing it....

i read about meditation... i think i should start... releases stress, so i hear... maybe that can help me. i need something that's going to calm me down and get me better... && i spoke to rich about going back to church, any church... the lord is universal. we need him more than ever now... the decisions we are making need to be backed up by a rock! our rock needs to be HIM because all things are possible through him... amen!... i prayed today... i kinda got side-tracked but i prayed! feels good when you thank the lord for giving you one more day to live... for waking you up in the morning... thank you god almighty!!

I need to become a better person... i'm taking baby steps... it's a start...

Too Long

So I was supposed to come here every day and update... unfortunately I havent but I will say that I have done much better in trying to accomplish things (except for today...) other than that I have cut down on soda and I've been drinking more water... I keep a plastic cup by my desk filled with water and drink it daily... I've also been drinking hisbicus water... yum! Makes me urinate a lot more but I can feel a difference... I also stopped eating after work, so no I havent eaten dinner but I try to eat a big lunch, and some breakfast, as well as healthy snacks throughout the day. I won't lie... it's been HARD but after reading articles on msn and 17, I have kinda got it in my head that i need to record what Im doing for my personal satisfaction. I NEED to take small baby steps, and I realize that this is not going to happen from one week to another, but with every small step that I take I will make myself feel much better and hopefully in the end it will keep me going. I also didnt realize that people had specific workout playlists... so at the moment i find myself downloading music that will hopefully help me out and i can start getting in tune and not let the ball drop. i honestly dont want to let myself down. I havent told anyone about what Im doing. I kind of want to keep it to myself until I feel strong enough about letting anyone know... this is soo hard... i feel like i need to find a support system though... like let someone know... anyone... lol

it super late... i should finish downloading songs and head to rest so that maybe.... just maybe i can wake up and maybe want to go jogging.... i hope i do!! who knows...

Time for a change...

My first entry here!! Ok so here’s the bottom line… I’m doing this as my own personal little journal that won’t find its way to the people who know me… or at least I hope it doesn’t. Clearly I have a lot of steam to let go off and I feel like this is the best way to do it. I’ m online a lot so I figure… I can spend a couple of minutes at the end of the day and write, or should I say type about what’s going on. Lets see, I’m a mother to a two year old. I’m in a [rocky] relationship with her father whom I love to love to hate…make sense? lol. I work full time for an awesome EP cardiologist, granted I said he is awesome… not my coworkers:]. I have lost touch with mostly all of high school friends, I would like to say I’m a loner who spends all her free time, either with my daughter or at home resting, aka slouching. I have drastically gained weight over the years and I have become a “Debbie Downer”, or so I think… I hate the person I have turned into and Im ready to turn it around…so here goes my life!!

I realized that I have gained sooo much weight and I’m ready to blog about how I hope to lose weight… seriously I’m a bunch of sizes way too big. I remember how I used to be a size 3… now I’m a two digit number. I need to find some motivation to do this!!! I have a beautiful daughter who I want to live to see grow up. All this weight gain has put a strain on my relationship with my hubby… and for once I can say that im not happy with the person I have turned out to be.

First things first… I have to start small and the first thing I am set on doing in is to start drinking more water and to walk at least twice a week…